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I have been friends for more than 20 years, a person who's faced and conquered numerous obstacles, and I respect her for that. But, she has been constantly taken by surprise in relationships. Her partner ended their marriage, and it was a huge shock. Many of her friends vanished then, because they seemed only interested in him. She was stunned by her deeply. She made increased attention toward our bond, and must have understood more clearly the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme of Disappearance

Throughout this period, many close to her vanished leaving her certain of the reason. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, even though she was an excellent employee, she departed unaware of the reason for the change.

Present Situation

Lately, both of us stepped back from work leading to more frequent meetups, but I am finding my position in our friendship is to listen. I start topics of conversation and she changes them to her own topics. Politically, she has firm beliefs. I try to suggest double-checking information or other angles.

She has been planning a holiday to a country I know well on several occasions even called home previously. I attempted to share insights, but this was not welcomed. She really just desired validation of her plans. I recently returned from a month there she is eager to meet, however, I hesitate.

Evaluating the Situation

I hesitate in this role who abandons suddenly without a word, yet I doubt she can grasp the impact of how she acts on my confidence. Currently, I am in avoidance mode. What should I do?

Possible Paths

It's possible to end things abruptly, yet this is rarely the peaceful resolution we imagine. But confrontation aiming for a solution requires bravery and openness for each of you.

Therapists recommend applying a effective method for resolving disputes:

"Initially requires explaining how things go during your discussions. Aim for this to be as factual as possible and essentially what a recording device would replay. The second is to tell her how it affects you emotionally. This allows for no argument here. What you feel belong to you, after all. Step three is to ask ways you together can shift the pattern between you."

Consider that she also has a point of view, so you need to stay open to listen to her. An approach that works is telling your friend:

"Please share your thoughts and I'm going to listen without interrupting for half an hour."

It's wildly impactful for promoting understanding.

Key Takeaways

This person might reject your concerns, since certain individuals cling to a self-protecting mindset: they rely on a version about themselves they won't release as it feels essential is tied to it and it represents they've known. This is difficult when there seems no easy route with these people, just dead ends. However, she might at first react this way then consider on your words. And even if you never reach an agreement, you'll have closure from having been honest with her.